Letter for my beloved father

March 28 should be one of the happy day as my hubby’s birthday. But this year.. I never imagine I should loss you that time. It really broke my heart to see you go. We will never be ready for losing our loved ones.

You’re so full of spirit, wise, tough, humorous, smart,.. so many things I adore from you.  I’m so proud to have you as my father. I really thank God that He gave you as my father. You’re my role model.

I remember that you brought me bunch of flowers every year for my birthday when I was a little. You taught me so many things. You taught me about how to drive, how to change car tire, how to deal with people. You taught me about life. I admire your thought and the way you see life thru your eyes.

I apologized if I ever disappointed you or made you feel sad. I never mean to do that. And I’m so sorry for the things I should’ve done but don’t have a chance to do that. I haven’t bought your birthday present this year. I’ve been thinking to cook for you that I ever done long time ago. But we can’t avoid fate that God loves you more.

At your last moment, you still told me that you feel like an astronaut with so many cables around you. But you’re no longer an astronaut, you’re an angel now. I believe you have your wings now.

Memories about you will always stay in my heart, pop. I believe you’re no longer in pain now. Your soul in peace now. You will prepare some place for us to stay -up above. You’re now our guardian angel.

I will always love you, pop.

Miss you so much.


Donatus Joenarto Soetiono
11.03.1940 - 28.03.2014

Auntie..

It's true that we will never feel loss until it's not around.

Just feel sorry that I didn't have chance to see my auntie more often. For not asked her to go for a walk, not brought her to come to my home. Too many things to do then seems like I forgetting her, to have our qualified time together.

I didn't have a chance to say sorry and to tell her how much I love her and say thank you for made me the way I am today.
Remembering my childhood equals as remembering her. Every little thing can remind me of her.

I won't forget the last time we met, I hold her hand for quite long and she noticed. She asked her daughter and said maybe I missed her. Yes that's true. I will always remember that moment. And last time I spoke with her on the phone when I couldn't hear her voice, I asked her to sing. She's too weak that time and I couldn't hear her voice. They said she laugh that time but I couldn't hear. I'm glad to know that last time we spoke, she laugh.

She's upthere now. Watch us from above. She has her wings now.

We will meet again someday.. Love you, auntie.

14.05.11

Letter for Vich

Dear John Maravich Soetiono,

We felt hurt deeply when we saw you in that tube with so many cables in your body. And it even hurt more when we said goodbye to you, our little angel. You have your wings now and you flew to the above with Jesus.

Thou you're just with us for twenty four hours, you stole our heart, dear. You're a cute, adorable, georgeous, healthy and chubby little baby. And our heart broke into pieces when you left us here.
God must love you so much.

We believe that you still have your duty upthere now and in the perfect time then, you will come back here and gather with us for long time.

We held you for a moment but will love you forever..
A precious little baby, asleep but perfect.

26.07.11 - 27.07.11

Sleep well, our little angel..

FaR aWay aGaiN..

come back here.. leaving my lovely ones in my hometown. only for a week this time. hard.. but still i have to go. my companion this time are great. thou the things we've been thru was tough, but we can handle it. and i meet my great friends also. don't know when will we see each other again.

so, the weather here is soooo cold. we didn't expected then not prepare the right costumes either. then thank God we have a chance to buy coat and shawl.

m e a l

the fourth day in here.. the breakfast is still the same thou ther's so many choices *silly..* i didn't have the appetite this morning.just eat two pcs pineapple, two pcs small bread with butter, two pcs somay (this is tasty, not too ginger like other dumplings i hadbefore) and a cup of tea. hmm actually it's too many. hihi

for lunch, finally they serve other than dumplings. we ate rice burger and boneless chicken with large coke.

for dinner tonight.. it's cah chiang noddle. hihi it's delicious and the price was ok.

oya last night janice invited us to have dinner in tai ho dien. it's a hotpot style. tasty but the stomach already full of gas because of the quiz trainning. we went out from the office around 8. ppffhhh...

but i passed that 5 questions. hihi

that's all for today :)

still miss home.

go far away..

it's been two days i've been in here. and i don't feel comfortable being judged by people in here. they talk to me in the language i don't understand. and it seems a very big mistake the chinese people can not speak the chinese language. hmm..perhaps they're right but do i look like real one? hihi..

let's talk about food then. the lunch is not so delicious. too oily and so ginger :( pork everyday everytime. hihi. and for these two days, we had dumplings and soup for lunch. ppfffhhh make my face looks like dumpling.

yesterday i ate rice noodle soup for dinner. and we ordered goose and kangkung. but no drink! i saw people in that resto didn't order drink. weird.. it's different when u drink water and water soup. weird people tskk..tsskk...tssk...

for tonight we ate xiao long bao in din tai fung. not bad but still too oily. pork oil haiyahhh..

i like fried pork with gabage. :)

the member of the gank was from spore, malay, philli and thai. most of them can speak mandarin thou. but not the thai one :) i have a friend.. we always go to dinner together and go to the office with two cabs every morning. have an appointment every morning to have breakfast at 7.30. and it's nice to share things from our country like the name kangkung. they also named that vegie kangkung.

i miss my fam in jakarta. i miss my hubby. i miss my kitties. i miss my home.. i miss all my friends, miss food in there.. miss everything..

k e t a b a h a n

ketika seluruh dunia semakin suram
dan semua tampak tidak begitu jelas
ketika bayang-bayang tampak mulai menggantung
Tuhan, tabahkanlah aku..
ketika segalanya telah dicoba
dan kelihatannya tidak ada jalan
buatlah aku tetap ingat
kadang perjalanan memang lambat
aku mungkin hanya perlu berhenti dan beristirahat
sepanjang lintasan yang kutempuh
saatnya untuk mencoba mengerti
dan berbincang dengan Tuhan
setelah kudapat kekuatan baru untuk lanjut,
tanpa ragu dan takut
bagaimanapun aku tahu masalah akan beres,
maka tabahkanlah aku..

*Anne Stortz, from 'chicken soup for unsinkable soul'

time for me

when i had a little surgery yesterday, i wish someone would accompany me. but the fact people seems too busy. then i had to get through almost all by my self. wish i did not expect too much..
today in my recovery, i have to be on my own. thou i'm shaking and throw up what i ate..

but sometimes it feels good to have time for your own. time when nobody's around. you'll have time to make things the way it should be, time to enjoy movies you bought, time to listen the musics you had, time to read the books you collect.. this is what i want for so long..
so, guess i shouldn't complain for what i got now...
nope, i shouldn't..

nowadays, women should do everything by herself without depend too much to anyone else.